This is quite possibly my favorite piece out of everything I have written in the past few years. I wrote it as a personal narrative for my College Composition class in my senior year of high school. At first, I wrote it in the first person point of view. Then my teacher said it could only be in first person if it was a true story, which it wasn't. Not entirely, anyway. To be honest, I have always felt that it sounded better in first person. So that is what I shall post.
I would say I am a pretty strong young woman. I have always been extremely confident in my beliefs and opinions. I am usually the one to speak my mind, and I always stand up for what I believe in. There have been very few, if any, times in my life that I have questioned my beliefs because of any given situation in my life. I have always believed that if I plan my life out exactly how I want it, things will go according to my plans. I believed that as long as I was a good person and did things to help other people, my life would be happy and flawless. Last year, however, this changed. My beliefs about life had never been more challenged than the night I found out I was pregnant.
So there I sat, on the edge of my bed, with the thin plastic stick in my trembling hands. My jaw dropped in disbelief at the small yet powerful word that appeared before my eyes: Pregnant. I was pregnant at nineteen. How did this happen? Well, I suppose I knew how it happened. But how could this have happened to me? I had never done anything wrong. I’d never hurt anyone. This just wasn’t adding up. There was no way I could be pregnant. The test had to be a false positive. I quickly decided to shrug it off and wait it out.
Three months later, I knew it had all just been wishful thinking. I was already starting to show, and there was no doubt that I was pregnant. The queasiness and nausea of morning sickness had set in, and I could tell I was in for one hell of a ride. By the time I was through my first trimester, I still had not gotten up the guts to tell my boyfriend what was going on. He was overseas for a semester abroad, and this was the last thing he needed to hear. I didn’t want to ruin his fun, and there was no way I was going to screw up his studies. So I reluctantly made the choice to wait until he got home to share the news. It wasn’t like it wouldn’t be painfully obvious by the time he came home around two months from now. After all, if I was this big only three months in, it wasn’t hard to figure out that I would get much bigger by the time another two months had passed.
The next two months went by quickly, and was filled with more prenatal appointments and vitamins than I knew what to do with. My boyfriend was going to be home before I knew it. I was filled with excitement, anticipation, and fear at the thought of telling him he was going to be a father. I knew it would be difficult, but I also knew I had no choice. It wouldn’t have been fair of me not to tell him. After all, it wasn’t just my life that was about to be turned inside out. It was his too, He was about to be a father, at the age of nineteen. I knew he loved me and that we were happy, but there was also a part of me that feared he wouldn’t want to stick around. My worst fear was that he would leave. It was already going to be hard to raise a child at my age, but doing it alone would have been so much harder. I was so worried about what he would think and if would be here tomorrow morning, that I made myself sick. I ran into the bathroom and kneeled down by the toilet like I had so many times in these past few months.
It was only a few minutes later that I heard footsteps in the entryway of our small studio apartment. They were getting closer, and I knew that it was him. I wanted so badly to get up off of the cold tile of the bathroom floor and greet him properly, but I was too lightheaded to move. I was being weighed down by the news I was about to deliver, and I could barely stand. It was then that I heard the voice I hadn’t in over three months.
“Hello? Dear, are you home?” he beckoned, clearly eager to see me again.
“In here,” I managed to mutter softly. I heard the urgency in his steps increase when he heard how quietly I had responded to his call.
“Is everything all right? You don’t sound like…” he trailed off at the sight of me kneeling on the floor. He quickly bent down to help me off of the cold tile. “Easy now,” he whispered as he eased me onto the bed just outside the bathroom door. “Are you feeling all right? he asked lovingly, as he placed his hand on my forehead.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just need to sit here for a few minutes,” I told him.
“All right. I’ll go get you something to drink. You look dehydrated,” he stated.
“Wait!” I called to him as he made his way down the hall. “Can you come here for a minute? I have something important to tell you.”
“Sure. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I just have some eh…news.”
“Okay then. What’s up?”
“Well it’s kind of a big deal. Would you mind sitting down?” I asked him, patting the spot on the bed next to me. He sat down and I gently grabbed his hand. I inhaled deeply. “You’re going to be a daddy,” I whispered, afraid to look him in the eyes.
“I…I’m…I’m what?” he stuttered.
“You’re going to be a father. I’m pregnant,” I told him, unsure of what his response would be.
“Um…wow. I didn’t…you never…I had no idea,” he stammered. “Why didn’t you call me and let me know?”
“Well,” I started, “I didn’t want to interrupt anything. I figured I’d still be pregnant when you got home, so what’s the rush, right?” He just sat there looking at me, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening. I probably could have knocked him over with a feather, had I tried.
“Uh, yeah,” he managed to get out. “I guess I understand where you’re coming from, but I wish you had told me sooner. I would have been on the first plane back home to you and him…her…him? What exactly are we having?”
“I don’t know yet. I figured I would wait for you to find out. I wanted you to be there when I found out,” I told him.
“Thank you,” he said earnestly. “I appreciate that very much.”
“You’re welcome,” I said back.
“So, this is really happening, isn’t it? he asked after an awkward silence, clearly nervous about what was about to unfold.
“Yes, it is,” I stated too bluntly, forgetting he was still new to the idea. “So what do you say then? Are we going to pull together and make this work for us,m or are you heading for the next flight back to Ireland? I asked, sincerely wondering what was in store for our future.
“I say, did you really have to ask? I’m going to be here for you, and our new little addition. We’ll be our own little family. It might be hard at first, but we’ll make it work. We always do. I love you, and I can feel the love for our child growing already,” he reassured me. For the first time, I completely believed it.
So here I am, almost two years down the road, cradling our little baby girl in my arms. She is absolutely beautiful, and I can already tell she will grow up to be as independent and opinionated as her mother. The rest of my pregnancy went off without a hitch, and everything turned out fine, just like he said it would. It has been a long road, and there have been many ups and downs. If there is one thing that I have learned from all of this, it is that it’s the times in which our beliefs are challenged that shape who we are as individuals. My pregnancy and the miracle of our daughter have brought out the best in me. They have taught me that life doesn’t always go how we have planned, but it always turns out for the best.